A relationship is an embodiment of many aspects of HOPE. It often gives a promise of a long-lasting union, siring children with your partner, among many other plans. However, bad things happen even to good people, and sometimes a break up occurs. Breaking up is painful, regardless of whether you initiated the breakup or not.
However, when your partner breaks up with you unexpectedly, you get more confused and may be caught up in the pain for weeks and months. Don’t hold the pity party for too long, but instead, look for fun things (or mature things) to do to overcome a recent breakup. Be careful not to be too restrictive with yourself, but instead rediscover who you are and have fun.
Thankfulness may seem like a hard virtue to practice, but you will reap heavily from it in due time. Be grateful that the relationship has come to an end as much that was not the desired result. It saved you a whole lot more time, energy, and resources loving someone who doesn’t love you back.
Being thankful consolidates your energy to appreciate the beauty around you, and as a result, you focus less on the breakup. As the days go by, the pain becomes less, and you can enjoy your life. Draw lessons from the past relationship and (re)discover yourself in your new-found status. Appreciate yourself more as it helps you know what you should look for in a partner next time.
The end of a relationship also signifies the end of some plans you had together. This end can be somewhat traumatizing, though not as catastrophic as you may be feeling. Get out of your house; socialize more with a group of friends or family. Just look around, there will always be people who will get you to visit a new restaurant or a new spot in town.
Dressing up and feeling good about yourself lifts your moods (Yes, dress to kill!). Socializing will help you make new friends, explore new ventures, and soon you will not focus on the breakup. As time goes by, for sure, the wounds will be healed and you will move on. When you go out, avoid places that you hang out before with your ex-partner as this will only drag the healing process.
Focus on the positives
A break up causes tendencies of focusing on the negatives. Avoid it. Don’t speak ill of your ex-partner regardless of what they did to you. Speaking ill about them only tells a lot about you and may reflect negatively on you. Avoid battering yourself too. You may have done mistakes too, but that’s not enough ground to batter yourself. Take this chance to understand better why you did what you did and how you could avoid it (in the future).
Avoid castigating yourself unworthy of love or thinking about how you will never get a spouse who loves you. Doing this only sinks your spirit and keeps your breakup wound from healing.
Forgive yourself and forgive your ex
Forgiving is easier said than done. There is no hurry to do this, therefore take it a day at a time. Forgive them for the wrong they did and yourself for the mistakes, if any. Only emotionally strong people find it in their heart to forgive and let go of the bitterness and pain.
You forgive to lighten the burden in your mind and spirit, so it has nothing to do with the other person. Courageously forging out of the pain, you find new energy and strength to live a happy life.
Having done all the above, you will be on the recovery path, and you may use your new found self to venture out again without carrying the baggage around.